Reality Shows Are Cool

Oh man, I can't believe it's been almost two months since I last wrote. I've been laying low, recovering, relaxing. My surgery was rescheduled and happened on Dec. 12. It was a walk in the park compared to the first time around, and now I have brand new squishy boobs, which are slightly lopsided but awesome nonetheless.

So, I have a confession. I was watching this show, "Sweet Home Alabama," it's like "The Bachelor," but for a southern dude and southern gals, with a few city slickers thrown in. Who knew this guy would say something I love: "You have to be all in. It's when you let your guard down that you see the miracles of life." So cool, and so true. That boy will make some gal a lucky lady knowing that. Wish I'd known that a long time ago. But, I do now, and that's all that matters.

Now, it's a brand new year, and I think this one will be even more exceptional than the last, with more miracles, blessings, health, and green juice. Jon was even excited about the juice part for about a day, until he tried it. But, trust me, he was being dramatic – that's what happens when your palate is used to stuff like Doritoes, Mike & Ike's and cheeseburgers. I find it refreshing and delicious, no joke. It makes me feel like I'm at a spa, and it's sweeter than I expected, too. Never been so excited to be "all in" to life.

Make Juice Not War (Kris Karr/Crazy Sexy Diet) 
5 stalks kale
5 stalks romaine
4 stalks celery
2 large cucumbers (peeled if they're not organic)
2 big broccoli stems
2 pears or apples
1 inch piece of gingerroot

How Many Miles Does It Take?

During the breast cancer walk, we asked why in God's name is this thing 60 long freakin torturous miles. What's up with that? Haven't we suffered enough? I mean, everyone here pretty much has suffered in one way or another, from breast cancer, of course. And now we have to walk 60 miles on top of that? Why not 40 miles? Why not 30? But now I get it, and maybe it should have been obvious from the start.

It's supposed to be a little torturous and hard and slightly misery-inducing, because that's how it feels to have cancer. This is as close as it gets to walking in the shoes of those who've had to take the walk unwillingly, a measure of the tedium, the dreariness, the struggle to take one more step, to wake up to another day of uncertainty – besides the knowing that you'll have a hard time just getting out of bed from muscles and joints sore from chemo drugs; stiff, tight skin from surgeries in inconvenient places; looking again at that strange body you're living in and trying to get down with. Wanting to get back into bed and forget about it. 

After Day One of the walk, it seemed preposterous that we'd go back the next day and do it all over again, and then again. But, like cancer too, there is grace in the struggle, humility, an abundance of love, gratitude and support. How many miles does it take to get you to that place? Fifty-nine just might not be enough.

Change Is in the Hair

Oops, I meant to say, change is in the air. So much has happened in the past month. All good things. So much to be thankful for, I'm afraid I don't know how to show my gratitude. How much can I pray? There's more to do. Something big is right around the corner, always. I can feel it. In the meantime, here's what's been goin' down:

1. I got my very first new hair haircut. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. But still soo short...
2. I'm not eating meat anymore. For serious this time. No more dead stuff.
3. NJ is sleeping in her very own bed! – mostly. And me and Jon get to snuggle, like old times, if one of us doesn't fall asleep on the couch that is. It's pretty sweet, but we miss that little munchkin.
4. We got a sweet, awesome nanny. Her name is Katy, and NJ is in love. She brought her a princess coloring book with stickers on day one, and that sealed the deal.
5. I was crazy post-treatment anxious, like, what will happen now that I'm not getting a zap or a cutting out or a toxic-in-a-good-way drip? And I prayed for no more worry and fear, and guess what? It's gone. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
6. Went to see Dr. Huxtable (oncologist) for the first time since my "treatment plan" has ended, and got straight A's for once in my life.
5. And, we bought a new house. Plantin' roots, and wheat grass.

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars.

–Whitman